Maude Oil Review: Testing Oil No. 0 and Wash No. 0

Built on the three pillars of quality, simplicity and inclusivity, Maude’s mission to modernize the intimacy industry for people of all ages, genders and sexual preferences is one worth standing behind.

From their refined, contemporary product packaging and brand experience to their collections focused on body-safe ingredients, the common thread between the company’s offerings is that they’re high vibe (literally). Shop their Bath and Body products to pamper yourself or create a romantic bath experience with your partner, or venture into their Sex and sexual wellness collection for solo or duo night-cap must-haves.  

Let’s keep it simple, people.

I open the box and voila, my two products lay flat in a bed of kraft krinkle paper shreds, quietly screaming “time for some self-care!”.

Show Me The Shower

I quickly grabbed the wash no. 0 bottle and hopped in the shower. Truth be told, I had a little bit of trouble getting the gel to come out of the cap after popping it open. After shaking the bottle multiple times and tipping it upside down, I finally managed to squeeze a small amount onto my hands.

I rubbed my hands together, activating a lovely white foam. While scrubbing, I had the somewhat bizarre experience of (perhaps for the first time ever) not having a fragrant aroma wafting through my nostrils as I danced around the tub.

As someone who has a deep appreciation of aromatherapy, I missed the notes of my eucalyptus, lavender, seasalt, chamomile, peppermint, insert-lovely-earthy-ingredient shower products. Even so, those go-to’s aren’t pH-balanced, vegan, cruelty and paraben-free, vitamin rich or organic like Maude’s products— so this new, quite literally neutralizing shower gel was a treat. Despite being fragrance-free, the wash did the job. I didn’t have to rely on simply smelling clean — because I actually was.

Out of the shower I emerged and quickly scurried over to grab the oil no. 0 bottle. After toweling dry, I pumped a few healthy drops from the bottle into the palm of my hand and massaged the oil from my ankles up my legs.

WOW, were my legs dry and in desperate need of hydration! What I missed about the product’s scent in the shower was immediately justified here — the last thing I needed was orange-flavored oil all over my body for my clothes to absorb and to compete heavily with the perfume I was about to apply.

Oil no. 0 spread and absorbed evenly, moisturizing my previously dry skin. (I will say, I had to go back for multiple pumps, likely because my skin is so dehydrated from the cold winter weather.) 

After finishing up my new self-care routine, I shuffled into my bedroom to grab my clothes. To my loudly-expressed surprise (and probably mild terror), within seconds my puppy’s tongue was rolling up and down my calves trying to lick off the oil. I shooed him away multiple times without success. At least it’s vegan, right?

Water: running. Towel: on. Wash no. 0 bottle: in hand. Let’s do this.

As someone who often dreads the thought of taking a bath (mainly because I find it hard to sit still in a steaming hot tub of water for more than five minutes), this exercise was a true test. The truth is, my curiosity piqued at the thought of having a bubble bath of all things. How luxurious and completely kid-like of me. 

Water: still running. Towel: still on. Wash no. 0 bottle: pouring its contents around the tub.

I waited about one minute and received a phenomenal display of suds…everywhere. Each inch of the tub’s surface was covered in happy little white, foamy bubbles. 

Water: no longer running. Towel: no longer on. Wash no. 0 bottle: placed on the bathtub ledge. Me: in the tub, thoroughly enjoying what I thought would be a semi-miserable experience.

What you put in and on your body matters. Your skin absorbs what’s applied topically, so investing in quality-ingredients is important if you’re focused on living a holistically healthy lifestyle. The visual simplicity of Maude is a paradox when considering the complexity of the products: they’re fragrance-free to cater, inclusively, to everybody’s individual scent desires (no matter your age, ethnicity, or body chemistry), they’re pH-balanced, filled with vitamins, vegan and cruelty free, and so the list goes on.

The same product qualities that emphasize the brand’s goals of encouraging modern intimacy were reflected in my experience with the products themselves: curiosity, exploration, and feeling safe (like a kid in a bubble bath). If you’re ready to explore your own personal body-and-skincare, these are top-quality products you won’t want to pass up.